If one was to think about someone they appreciate, there is a strong chance that they will end up feeling ‘good’. Yet, if they were to think about someone who presses their buttons, for instance, they are unlikely to have the same emotional experience. And when they feel good, there is not much chance of […]

Why should you be yourself? The simple answer is ‘because everyone else is taken’ – it’s both the simple answer and an accurate answer. The important question is ‘why are we not ourselves?’ What is the pay off for not being ourselves? Ahhh, now we’re talking. To begin with, what would cause us to not […]

For people who are through it, they can tell you that self improvement is a journey. It all depends on where one is starting from. The most necessary thing but is getting that first step out of the way. Self improvement comes with the fulfillment that comes from understanding oneself. It is through this understanding […]

Part 1 can be read by clicking here. Troubleshooting For Problems in Communication  Control or Power Issues: Effective communication cannot take place if one person has “control” over the other or where there is not mutual respect and equality of relationship. To stay in control leads to relational isolation as the underdog reacts in anger […]

Communication is a vital part of our lives: a typical day involves many interactions between ourselves, our work colleagues and clients, our children, our friends, our ex’s, future relationships, etc. This interaction takes place where we live, work, relax, socialize and wherever we perform routine tasks. Communication skills are critical for building healthy relationships, especially […]

Anxiety can be good, like when it alerts you to danger, or motivates you to complete tasks. However, anxiety becomes a problem when it makes you so fearful that it affects your life negatively. You might have physical symptoms, like a rapid heartbeat or shortness of breath, or have difficulty doing the things you need […]

Yoga and meditation will never help you de-stress until you understand this first. Are you tired and fed up of being told that you need to de-stress your life? Are you confused over what you “should” do (versus what you “want” to do) because there are so many methods and “musts” about how de-stressing should […]

Failure is nothing to be ashamed of! We live in a competitive society that has big winners and big losers. Educators, motivation experts, life coaches, sport psychologists and other mentors mainly teach us how to approach success, how to be winners. Few teach us a much more valuable lesson – how to cope with failure. […]

Last night you stayed up late (out with friends, taking care of crying child, preparing for a presentation, watching marathon episodes of your favorite show), and today, when you’re already running low on sleep, it seems as if the whole world is out to get you. Why is everyone so irritating? Why is the traffic […]

Continuing from Part I… 5. Move to a Mediterranean Diet The Mediterranean diet is a balanced, healthy eating pattern that includes plenty of fruits, nuts, vegetables, cereals, legumes, and fish — all of which are important sources of nutrients linked to preventing depression. A recent Spanish study, using data from 4,211 men and 5,459 women, […]

Can your diet really help put you in a good mood? And can what you choose to eat or drink encourage bad moods or mild depression? While certain diets or foods may not ease depression (or put you instantly in a better mood), they may help as part of an overall treatment plan. There’s more […]

Emerging research from the University of Colorado Denver explores the relatively new experience of being unfriended on Facebook. One study clarifies the most common type of “friend” to be unfriended while another looks at the emotional impact of the action. The studies, published earlier this year, show that the most likely person to be unfriended […]

We take the power of scent too lightly. To surround self or surroundings with scent, even demurely, has tremendous potential. Aromatherapy can play a part in wellness, but its applications go way beyond the massage room at the spa. Some new takes on good smells — even some that you may recognize — follow below. […]

Rather than seeking forgiveness, how about making things right instead? It has become popular these days to forgive. Or at the very least, to ask for forgiveness. Whether you are Charlie Sheen, Mel Gibson, or Dior’s Creative Director John Galliano, it seems you can say the most offensive things then have your media coach make your […]

One of the biggest complaints you will hear from people during the day is how tired they are. While lack of sleep can have many causes, sharing a bed with a partner is linked to a decreased ability to sleep well. But for many, sharing a bed is a sacred part of the partnership. Mikel […]

Continued from Part I… Here are five ways moms can encourage daughters to have a good relationship with their dads: Recognize that your ex is your children’s parent and deserves respect for that reason alone. If your children hear you make negative comments about your ex, it can have a detrimental impact on them. Modeling […]

As a child, I was never quite sure about the nature of my father’s feelings toward me. When I was very young, I knew that I was Daddy’s Little Girl because we used to make special trips to the seashore where we would collect guppies — putting them into buckets under the moonlight to watch […]

When your mood dips, it can help to have a plan you’ve already prepared. What are we going to do if the worst happens? Unfortunately, every successful organization or business has to face the fact that something’s probably going to go seriously wrong at some stage. Fire, floods, theft, intentional – or unintentional – damage […]

Young people all over are focused on how much they weigh, how they look, and what they are eating. This is often a result of the media, and the pressure they put on young girls in particular to look a certain way. This is a rebuttal, a few reasons why how much you weigh shouldn’t […]

More and more young people are developing eating disorders every day, and there is little we are able to do to stop this. There are many misconceptions about eating disorders, like boys and men don’t get them, you have to be thin to have one, or that Anorexia and Bulimia are the only two eating […]

Top 3 Techniques to Handle Difficult Emotions One of the most difficult things that we have to overcome before we can heal from challenging emotions is how much our thoughts can dominate us. Even though it is easy to become used to the idea that our thoughts rule us, in reality, we should try to […]

Getting a good night’s sleep can affect the way you feel throughout the day, and there are many things you may be doing that are affecting the restfulness of your sleep that you don’t even realize you are doing. In part 2 of this article, we will continue to go over the things that might […]

Sleep is an extremely important aspect of everybody’s lives. Without it, things like hormone regulation and the healing process would get thrown off. Sleep regulates important hormones like melatonin, seratonin, and dopamine, which influence mood, motivation, sleep and cravings. This is the first part in our 2 part series on tips for getting a better […]

Often it takes a wake up call to realize that you need to spend more time with your partner concentrating on each other instead of spending all of your time with your kids focusing all of your energy on them. If you haven’t read Part 1 of this article, go read it now! In this […]

After becoming a parent, keeping the relationship between you and your partner flourishing can be a difficult thing to accomplish. There are several simple but crucial changes that you can make to put the focus back on the couple enough to keep their relationship going strong. 1. Create a Date Night To have a romantic […]

I have two friends, Seth and Michael, and one of them is a lot happier than the other. Seth is chronically unhappy. He is often glum, frequently irritable, and sometimes hopeless, though he has never been clinically depressed. By contrast, Michael is a remarkable happy person. Although he has his low moments and periodic stress, he […]

Parent child conflict increases during adolescence as the healthy teenager pushes for more independence to grow and healthy parents restrain that push in the interests of safety and responsibility. Each of “the five engines that drive independence”—separation, expansion, differentiation, opposition, responsibility—creates a different source of dispute. SEPARATION can cause disagreements over time with peers versus time with […]

…continuing How to Spot Emotional Unavailability (Part 1) Most people reveal their emotional availability early on. Pay attention to the facts, especially if there’s mutual attraction. Even if the person seems to be Mr. or Mrs. Right, yet is emotionally unavailable, you’re left with nothing but pain. If you overlook, deny, or rationalize to avoid […]

If you’ve ever been in a relationship full of emotional unavailability, you know the pain of not being able to get close to the one you love. They’re evasive, make excuses, or are just inept when it comes to talking about feelings or the relationship. Some use anger, criticism, or activities to create distance. You […]

Julie Fast’s friend went to the hospital for a terrible colitis attack. “It was so serious they sent her straight to the ER.” After reviewing her medical records and seeing that her friend was taking an antidepressant, the intake nurse said, “Maybe this is all in your head.” When it comes to mental illness, people […]

…continuing from Part 1 of The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis It can be a crisis: If the kids have been the primary focus of your life. As important as it is to love our children and love the job of parenting, it’s also a stage of life, not the whole of it. Those who have thrown […]

Feelings of loss and anxiety about change when the last child leaves home are normal. But it often has been pathologized in popular culture as a disorder, disease or condition that needs treatment. Usually it’s not and it doesn’t. In fact, the “empty nest syndrome” usually doesn’t exist at all. For most families, the last kid going […]

Intervening early to stop bullying is important because the health effects – including anxiety, depression and impaired self-worth – can persist even after bullying stops, a study shows. The study examines “how the effects of bullying can compound over time or snowball” by focusing on students’ past and present bullying experiences, says Laura Bogart, a […]

What good is money if it can’t buy happiness? In the latest survey of U.S. college freshmen, when over two hundred thousand students at 279 colleges and universities were asked about their most important life goals, 77 percent checked off “being very well off financially.” But what does achieving this goal mean for our ultimate well-being? […]

Ending a friendship is a very personal decision. Everyone has his or her own threshold — his or her own breaking point. Perceptions of what may be considered ‘toxic’ can vary, depending on the individual. And, the connection to another person in a friendship could be strong, which may outweigh the negatives present within the […]

We often here the question, “Who are vision boards for?” and the answer is anyone who has a goal or dream they want to achieve.  One thing to keep in mind is vision boards are universal; everyone and anyone can use them. In this post I will share how vision boards can benefit all of us. Recently, […]

For some people, this is a truly radical idea: There is no need to fight with your partner. Ever. Accusations, recriminations, character assassination, threats, name-calling, and cursing, whether delivered at top volume or with a quiet sarcastic sneer, damage a relationship, often irrevocably. Nobody needs to be a monster or to be treated monstrously. Nobody who yells will ever […]

The conversation began abruptly, with the anonymous teenager getting straight to the point: She had just told her family that she was really a boy trapped in a female body. “Now my family hates me,” she told a crisis counselor. The counselor was empathetic. She asked for more detail about the family, offered encouragement and […]

TRUST is a double-edged sword. Though you can accomplish more in life if you put your faith in others, doing so also leaves you vulnerable. If your friend, business partner or political ally betrays you, he benefits — in terms of money, power or some other resource — at your expense. This risk is the […]

As president of the Walt Disney Company’s children’s book and magazine publishing unit, Russell Hampton knows a thing or two about teenagers. Or he thought as much until he was driving his 14-year-old daughter, Katie, and two friends to a play last year in Los Angeles. “Katie and her friends were sitting in the back seat […]

How well does your family function emotionally? Families operate at different levels of emotional health. One way of measuring the well being of family relations is the Beavers Scale of Family Functioning, named for its creator, psychiatrist W. Robert Beavers. The family is a system of emotional relationships and the Beavers scale identifies five developmental levels […]

There is a long and interesting story published in the New York Times that asks whether we can teach emotional intelligence.  It begins with a lovely story of a kindergarten teacher coaching his young students on what they might say when an angry parent makes them feel scared. It struck a nerve.  A few days ago, I spent several hours […]

It’s almost Valentine’s Day, a day that can cause some, especially those who are single, to have feelings of sadness and anxiety. TV commercials selling diamonds, flowers, chocolate, and even cars began to show up almost a month ago, commercials filled with people depicting perfect, everlasting love. It’s a day filled with a lot of […]

Throughout history and in societies all over the world, parents have tried to influence the love lives of their children — with mixed success. Parents and children frequently don’t see eye to eye on what makes a suitable partner, as studies across cultures have confirmed. Whenever a pattern of human behavior is widespread, there is […]

Did you know about kissing’s power to lift the mood? Kissing stimulates the feel-good chemicals in the brain, mainly serotonin, dopamine and oxytocin…this is great news! So what are the health benefits of kissing? Kissing boosts your self-esteem by making you feel loved and connected. A German study even found that men who were kissed by their […]

It’s a too-familiar story. James and Cindy have come in for couples counseling because they worry they have grown apart. With three children under the age of 12, they want to see if they can salvage their marriage. They can’t imagine breaking up the family even though they feel they are breaking up. Cindy is […]

Teens go through emotional ups and downs all the time. Hormones are changing, life can seem overwhelming, and without much life experience, a young adult can feel misguided. When parents are busy working, or a natural separation from family occurs, teens may turn to friends instead of parents. Peer support can be helpful for certain […]