One of the biggest complaints you will hear from people during the day is how tired they are. While lack of sleep can have many causes, sharing a bed with a partner is linked to a decreased ability to sleep well. But for many, sharing a bed is a sacred part of the partnership. Mikel […]

Continued from Part I… Here are five ways moms can encourage daughters to have a good relationship with their dads: Recognize that your ex is your children’s parent and deserves respect for that reason alone. If your children hear you make negative comments about your ex, it can have a detrimental impact on them. Modeling […]

As a child, I was never quite sure about the nature of my father’s feelings toward me. When I was very young, I knew that I was Daddy’s Little Girl because we used to make special trips to the seashore where we would collect guppies — putting them into buckets under the moonlight to watch […]

Often it takes a wake up call to realize that you need to spend more time with your partner concentrating on each other instead of spending all of your time with your kids focusing all of your energy on them. If you haven’t read Part 1 of this article, go read it now! In this […]

After becoming a parent, keeping the relationship between you and your partner flourishing can be a difficult thing to accomplish. There are several simple but crucial changes that you can make to put the focus back on the couple enough to keep their relationship going strong. 1. Create a Date Night To have a romantic […]

Parent child conflict increases during adolescence as the healthy teenager pushes for more independence to grow and healthy parents restrain that push in the interests of safety and responsibility. Each of “the five engines that drive independence”—separation, expansion, differentiation, opposition, responsibility—creates a different source of dispute. SEPARATION can cause disagreements over time with peers versus time with […]

Julie Fast’s friend went to the hospital for a terrible colitis attack. “It was so serious they sent her straight to the ER.” After reviewing her medical records and seeing that her friend was taking an antidepressant, the intake nurse said, “Maybe this is all in your head.” When it comes to mental illness, people […]

…continuing from Part 1 of The Empty Nest: Opportunity or Crisis It can be a crisis: If the kids have been the primary focus of your life. As important as it is to love our children and love the job of parenting, it’s also a stage of life, not the whole of it. Those who have thrown […]

Feelings of loss and anxiety about change when the last child leaves home are normal. But it often has been pathologized in popular culture as a disorder, disease or condition that needs treatment. Usually it’s not and it doesn’t. In fact, the “empty nest syndrome” usually doesn’t exist at all. For most families, the last kid going […]

For some people, this is a truly radical idea: There is no need to fight with your partner. Ever. Accusations, recriminations, character assassination, threats, name-calling, and cursing, whether delivered at top volume or with a quiet sarcastic sneer, damage a relationship, often irrevocably. Nobody needs to be a monster or to be treated monstrously. Nobody who yells will ever […]

The conversation began abruptly, with the anonymous teenager getting straight to the point: She had just told her family that she was really a boy trapped in a female body. “Now my family hates me,” she told a crisis counselor. The counselor was empathetic. She asked for more detail about the family, offered encouragement and […]

As president of the Walt Disney Company’s children’s book and magazine publishing unit, Russell Hampton knows a thing or two about teenagers. Or he thought as much until he was driving his 14-year-old daughter, Katie, and two friends to a play last year in Los Angeles. “Katie and her friends were sitting in the back seat […]

How well does your family function emotionally? Families operate at different levels of emotional health. One way of measuring the well being of family relations is the Beavers Scale of Family Functioning, named for its creator, psychiatrist W. Robert Beavers. The family is a system of emotional relationships and the Beavers scale identifies five developmental levels […]

There is a long and interesting story published in the New York Times that asks whether we can teach emotional intelligence.  It begins with a lovely story of a kindergarten teacher coaching his young students on what they might say when an angry parent makes them feel scared. It struck a nerve.  A few days ago, I spent several hours […]

Throughout history and in societies all over the world, parents have tried to influence the love lives of their children — with mixed success. Parents and children frequently don’t see eye to eye on what makes a suitable partner, as studies across cultures have confirmed. Whenever a pattern of human behavior is widespread, there is […]

It’s a too-familiar story. James and Cindy have come in for couples counseling because they worry they have grown apart. With three children under the age of 12, they want to see if they can salvage their marriage. They can’t imagine breaking up the family even though they feel they are breaking up. Cindy is […]

Teens go through emotional ups and downs all the time. Hormones are changing, life can seem overwhelming, and without much life experience, a young adult can feel misguided. When parents are busy working, or a natural separation from family occurs, teens may turn to friends instead of parents. Peer support can be helpful for certain […]